It’s 3 am; I visited my old training partner’s Facebook page once more. Kept wishing he would write something or ‘like’ one of my posts, as Don Charley did so often. Part of me expected something surreal to happen. It’s only natural to feel that way when you learn, all too suddenly, that a friend who is 55 years old but in phenomenal physical condition — a seemingly age-defying pioneer who owned a chain of nutrition supplement stores, ate healthy and regularly tamed BJJ players 30 years his junior on the mats — is gone. Don Charley, a second-degree black belt whom I’ve known for more than a decade, is one of those people you’re willing to bet would hit the century mark. He lived clean and seemed to do everything right, which makes his passing all the more shocking.

My heart feels heavy for his fiance Ana, son Daniel, family and friends. I was very fond of Don, who represented Gracie Humaita Las Vegas, and had trained with him several times over the past six months.

There are often a lot of politics in BJJ — too much, in fact — but Don was not one to buy into it. When I left Team Mica in 2009, Don was among the former training partners who continued to be kind, cordial and conversational with me. He still showed a lot of respect, realizing that the five or 6 years we shared on the mat should bond us forever. He was part of my journey and I part of his. We had pushed each other.

I respected Don; he earned it. The former police officer’s passion and dedication to Jiu Jitsu was palpable and contagious. To my knowledge, Don didn’t start training jits until his early 40s. Even at an advanced age — with no prior grappling experience — he swam daily with sharks. And did it with a smile on his face, a supreme curiosity in his heart and a mind that paid attention to the smallest details. A very tough guy on the mats. Highly cerebral. I’m willing to bet Don Charley has legally purchased more BJJ videos than anyone else in the Las Vegas market. I’m willing to bet his library of Jiu Jitsu videos is the most extensive in town (legally at least). He was a Jiu Jitsu scholar, a Hurt Business addict like so many of us. He couldn’t get enough of this sport and the life lessons it pounds into its disciples. I admired Don’s abundant energy and positive vibes, how he bravely put it all on the line competing at IBJJF tournaments. Training at an advanced age may be the hardest challenge of all in this sport and Don was sort of its poster boy. In Jiu Jitsu, Don saw the future and rode the wave. Jiu Jitsu made him happy. It made him lots of friends. It made him a teacher. It kept him young at heart.

When something like this happens, when someone so full of life leaves us way too soon, the “why?” cries out at us. You feel a sense of, “I wish I could have seen him just one more time” … and thank him face to face for his friendship. For inspiring us. For challenging us on the mats.

It sounds cheesy perhaps, but moments like this truly put things into perspective. How petty most of the politics and rivalries between BJJ schools can be in the scheme of things. The truth is, we are all one. We are all bonded by a life-changing art we love. We are all, at the end of the day, from the Gracie family tree. We are all just trying to figure out life in search of meaning, peace and happiness. And jiu jitsu is a wonderful vehicle for reaching that destination.

Don Charley embodied goodness. That’s why I wish I had trained with him one more time. That’s why I go to his Facebook page and, against all odds, wish he’d write just one more post for us.

A great man has passed. I’m sure I speak for many when I say I’m going to miss him. Thanks for brightening our day. If heaven has mats, then we have not rolled for the last time my friend.

R.I.P. Don Charley